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All right. We admit it. When we first started writing this article for you, it included tips like “wear makeup” and “paint your nails” and “try ditching your pants and wearing a skirt.” You know. Traditional “feminine” stuff…

But when we looked at our final list, we knew it was all wrong.

We were confusing being “girly” with femininity, and that wasn’t right. After all, there are plenty of women who aren’t girly-girls who are still feminine. Just look at Muay Thai fighter Roxy Balboa! She could destroy you in seconds with her kicks, but she’s still as female as it gets.

Yes, you can absolutely go and get a pedicure and walk away feeling more womanly, if that’s your thing. But, if it’s not, that’s okay too. There are still plenty of ways to get in touch with your feminine side. Because being feminine goes far deeper than outward appearance.

True femininity is an energy within you. And it’s something you shouldn’t be afraid to tap into. After all, you’d never hear a man say, “Gee. I should really stop being so masculine!” That’d be pretty silly, right? Men are generally okay with being men.

But, for whatever reason, sometimes we, as women, need to reconnect with that natural energy inside of us. We put aside that feminine energy for work or political agendas, and then find ourselves lacking. We feel out of balance.

Being feminine is about being “okay” with being a woman. Here are three ways you can do that:

1. Get in Touch with Your Emotions

In our post about emotional intelligence, we shared some of the biological differences between men and women. Spoiler alert: both men and women have emotional intelligence, we just show it in different ways.

Women tend to be more empathetic and “tend and befriend” when something goes wrong. It’s our biological nature to nurture (yes, even those of us who think babies are icky and never want children).

As women, we have an easier time tapping into our emotions and the emotions of those around us. That’s a part of our feminine energy.

Tap into that part of your feminine side by sitting with yourself and reflecting for a while. If journaling is your forte, then now would be a good time to write out your feelings. Don’t be scared. Delve deep into your emotions and how you’re feeling.

You don’t have to cry (though it’s okay if you do!) for this exercise to unlock feminine qualities within you. By simply acknowledging your emotions, and not brushing them aside, you’re utilizing female energy.

When you feel ready, share that energy with others. Get in touch with your female friends and talk about your feelings. And listen to theirs. Allow yourself to be open to giving and receiving care.

2. Be Confident

Know that accepting help isn’t weakness. If you need a man (or a really buff gal pal) to open a jar for you, that’s not a defeat or an insult to who you are as a person. Part of being feminine is accepting that there are some things that you can’t – or don’t want to – do, and being confident enough in yourself that that’s “okay.”

Being a strong woman isn’t about pretending to be a man. It’s about accepting who you are as a female and knowing that you don’t have to do it all to exude strength.

3. Love Your Body

In the most basic way, your body is what makes you female. Whether or not you were born with female equipment or acquired them later, your body has a large role to play in what makes you a woman.

Don’t be afraid to dress in a way that shows off your feminine assets. Yes, this could mean that you don a skirt or show off a little cleavage; but it can also mean investing in a well-tailored suit. After all, no one looks at Ellen and thinks she’s a dude.

But, again, tapping into your feminine energy is about more than outward appearance. And loving your body goes deeper than how you dress. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin, and taking care of it.

Pay attention to what you’re putting into your body. Make nutritious food choices. And make exercise and being healthy a part of your daily life. As women, we’re biologically more prone to weight gain. And while it’s a wonderful idea to embrace any curves you might have, you don’t have to accept being overweight. Show respect and love for your body by keeping it healthy!

In the end, fostering feminine energy is all about accepting that you’re a woman and being proud of that fact. No matter what clothes you wear, what your sexuality is, or what you chose as your career: You’re a strong, beautiful woman full of feminine energy. And it’s time you unleash that energy on the world!